


don't use apple maps while going to prada

by jewellarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Harry is a robber, M/M, THIS IS ACTUALLY JUST ME TRYING TO SPELL NIALL AND HARRY'S NAMES AS MANY WAYS AS I COULD, i was inspired by the egg fic, louis is a shirt, niall is a cannibal, ok not really but we all know he's really bread and mayonnaise, the other ones I'm working on hopefully they're better, this is meant to be a crack fic, this is my first fic I've posted, this is wild from start to finish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 22:59:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4239900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewellarry/pseuds/jewellarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry decides he'd like to buy a new shirt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't use apple maps while going to prada

**Author's Note:**

> -follow me on twitter @ochreniall for more rubbish  
> \- read the tags  
> -this really ran away from me I wrote it in like an hour  
> -or, 'the tshirt fic'

herny owned many shirts. he owned dress shirts which were button ups nd he wore them with only half the buttons buttoned because he wanted 2. he owned plain t shirts but most of them were see through and costed more money than you'll see in ur lifetime (that's a lot bc u r poor)

harry liked buying shirts bc he could. he was rlly rich because he robbed this bank. before that he had to wear a poor persons shirt because he was not rich. 

hyrya decided to buy a new shirt. it was a very easy decison bc he culd afford it. he rang up his Irish friend neil

'wht r u doing nial?' harry wanted a shopping buddy

'i am drinking beer.' he sed and harry expected nothing else because nail was always drinkin beer. 

'ok put your beer down nd meet me at prada' haryr didn't know if prada was just for women or men 2 but he didn't mind because he ownd women's shurts alredy. 

harrya got into one of his four cars and drove off 2 prada he had 2 use apple maps but apple maps was rlly bad and he nearly drove through a lake

he saw neill standing next to his car eating bred n mayonnaise. harry was rlly confused. why would you want to be a cannibal? 

'is tht bread you r eatin?' harry asked he had to approach the situation very careful.ly

'yes, thanks.' niall said he had bleached his hair again! his hair was going to fall out soon and Harry thinks bald mayonase would b really ugly.

hary decided to buy a neil a hat to cover up how bald he was because Niall was only like 20 and that is 2 young 2 be bald.

thy went inside and a salesperson greeted them.

'can i help u' she said looking at niall disapporovingly. probably because niall was eating a sandwich and wearing a polo shirt (rich people don't wear those).

'neill!' harrry sed. 'put away ur food we are at a shop and u can't eat!' 

Niall threw his sandiech to the floor and the salesperson nerly kicked them out until harry gave her 100 dollars and Niall put his sandwich in the bin.

'where r ur shirts I heard they are rlly nice' Harry said trying t charm the woman so she wasn't angry.

te sales person showed them to a wall with only like ten (10) shirts on it. rich people shops only have like twenty clothes in them.

'what type of shirt r you interested in?' the lady sayd.

'it has to have a crazy pattern and buttons' Harry told her. 

nialll laughed. 'like the rest of ur shirts' 

'ok we have 2 you might like. the zayn and the louis. the zayn is the most perfect one ever.' the sales person handed Harry a shirt.

it was tru. the zayn shirt was dark grey and had white triangles on it. harry feeld it up it was really soft and silky. because it was made of .silk

'wow this is definitely the most perfect.' harry said. 'pls I will try it on in a size smol.' 

'oh no. i am v sorry we only have a xxxxxx small and an xxxxx large they will not fit u sorry.'

hery nearly cried a little it was sad. 

'maybe u would like to see the Louis' she offred. 

'ok.' Harry said nd Niall patted him on the back.

the lady handed Harry the most beautifullest shirt he had seen in his whole entire live.

it was orange and had multicolor splashes of many colours except black so it was a happy shirt. it was so 'harry' and he was so happy it came in his size. 

he tried it on but only buttoned up the bottom few buttons to show off his glden chest and not golden (black and some other colours but not gold) tattoos. 

It was smooth nd cool on his skin and draped beautifully. Harry was in love immediately.

he purchased it without even looking at the price tag because love knows no boundaries.

Harry asked, 'do y'all have any hats 4 my friend mayonnaise here?' 

'yes we have only one it is a Irish tweed cap'

nialls creamed he was very happy because he was Irish.

'wow that is good becuse i'm irsh' Neil told the lady who didn't even care. rude.

the hat was flat and tweed and a cap and ugly but Niall loved it of course and hery bought it for a birthday present even though Nills birthday was 2 months ago. 

they went back t nialls and sat in the lounge. niles cap was still on his head.

'that was a successful day!' nile said, drinking beer while watching a tennis game and a golf game at the same tim. he was also tweeting about derby but no 1 knew what he was talking about.

'yeh ok I'm going home t marvel over my new shirts astoundin beauty.' Harry told Niall and left.

(but he didn't leave he went to the kitchen and removed all the mayonnaise and white bread because hry did not agree with cannibalism at all)

later at home harr took out his new shirt and carefully slipped it on. the shirt felt so wonderful. 

'ily shirt' he whispered and Harry swore he heard the shirt whisper back 'ily2' so that was nice.

the shirt of course was the best Harry could ever want and of course it was his favourite one 5ever (that means more than 4ever). 

'you are my favourite shirt Louis I love you.' hary said. 

'I love you too arry.' Louis said and they loved each other 6ever (that means more than 5ever).


End file.
